Gracie's Birth Story



It all started on Saturday, March 28^th 2015 and I was 41 weeks pregnant. Chris and I were driving to go visit my aunt and all day long I was very uncomfortable due to lower back pain. We arrived at my aunt’s house around 4:30 pm and as I got out of the car, I felt a gush of water…it wasn’t like how the movies portray but it was definitely noticeable. On the way home we stopped for food, walked around Home Depot, and then, of course, got stuck in traffic. Once home, we called the midwife; since I was Group B strep + she recommended that we come in to get checked, but I had a feeling that this was definitely IT.

Over the next several hours we finished getting our go bags ready, I took a shower, and then I baked some brownies for the nursing staff. When driving to the hospital I mentioned to Chris that it didn’t feel right. For months I’d imagined this trip to the hospital…I would be contracting and laboring for hours at home before we made the drive and I wasn’t contracting at all (so I thought). I had a bad feeling that things already weren't going as planned.

As we waited to be taken up to labor triage my back pain got considerably worse. The midwife came in to see us; I’d met with several of the midwives during my prenatal visits, but I had not met this one. The midwives had a copy of our birth plan and they were fully aware of our desire to have an un-medicated birth, and yet before even being checked for amniotic fluid or dilation, the midwife told me that since I wasn’t having contractions that I needed to start a Pitocin drip. When I refused, and then reiterated our want of a natural delivery, I was told at the very least I needed Cytotec to soften my cervix…again I refused. I was checked and they determined it was indeed amniotic fluid…so at 2 am we started the process of being checked in to labor and delivery.

They went ahead and placed the hep-lock for the antibiotics I would be getting due to the Group B strep; it was placed on the side of my forearm. While being admitted I immediately asked for one of the rooms with a labor tub and was told that they were both occupied but would be freed up soon and I could switch rooms. Once I was transferred to L&D they wanted to do a 20 minute strip to monitor mine and the baby’s progress. At that point it dawned on me…I told the nurse that I’d had back pain all day long and that I may be in back labor. I asked if back labor would show up on the monitor; she told me it would and then she showed my the strip…I was indeed having contractions and back labor meant my little one had flipped and was now sunny side up. The nurse told me they’d want to put me on the monitor every 30 minutes; I again brought up my birth plan and that it stated I wanted intermittent monitoring and freedom of movement…she said she’d do her best to spread it out.

Finally we were alone and we were able to get a couple hours of rest. By 7 am there was a shift change and we met the new midwife (I also had never met this new midwife during my prenatal visits). She did an exam and told me that I was at 1 cm dilated; she told me that my cervix was very soft so there was no need for cytotec after all (SO glad I refused this originally considering I was only just now being checked). She told me that since I wasn’t really in labor that I needed Pitocin to get things going. I refused, told her about my birth plan, and then I proceeded to tell her I was indeed in labor…my water was broken and I was having contractions. She said that since I was able to rest through the contractions that it didn’t really count. She then proceeded to tell me about a uterine infection called chorioamnionitis and that it wasn’t a matter of IF I would get this infection, but WHEN. She never told me what percentage of a chance I had of developing this, only that it was inevitable. She told me that since I was refusing Pitocin that I needed to get a Foley Bulb placed. I politely declined, but to appease her, I told her I’d think about it. I told her that for now I wanted to get up and walk. I told the nurses that I had requested the room with a tub but that it was occupied at the time. I asked if they’d check again and see if it was available…on our walk we passed one of the tub rooms; it didn’t look occupied so I thought our chances were pretty good of getting moved.

The walk seemed to help; the contractions got more regular but they were still 10 minutes apart. An anesthesiologist stopped by to introduce himself; I told him we weren’t interested in pain medication. He seemed okay with this response but he also brought up the possibility of developing chorio. Anytime the midwife would come by room, she'd bring up the chorio.

The next several hours were filled with walking, pelvic rocks, birthing ball, side laying, and I even did an inverted pose I learned from spinningbabies in a effort to get the baby to flip from being sunny side up. Around 5 pm the midwife wanted to check me again but I told her I wanted to wait. She again told me that my uterus was doomed to infection, again pushed the Pitocin, again pushed the Foley Bulb, and at this point I finally lost my cool. I told her that the main reason I'd chosen to go with the midwives program was because I wanted a natural birth and they were supposed to be big supporters of this...i told her that I felt no support from them whatsoever. She acted as if this didn't make sense so I continued with the fact that I was pushed to have Cytotec and Pitocin before I was even admitted and that in her own words, the Cytotec wasn't needed. I told her I didn't appreciate their scare tactics in trying to force inductions on me. She kind of backed off at this point but ended with it was my body and my baby and if I wasn't worried about either of us developing this infection then that was my choice. I was so tired of it all at this point so I told her we wanted more time to decide.

One thing we learned in our Bradley Method classes was that often there is a question regarding your actual dilation because when you get checked by different people (with different sized hands) that it could show you weren’t progressing even if you actually were. By 6:30 pm I decided to let the midwife check me; I knew that she’d be going off shift at 7 pm so I wanted to be sure to be check by the same person. I'm not sure if she was offended by my earlier outburst or what, but 7 pm came and went and by 7:15 the new midwife came in to introduce herself (b/c again, I had never met her during my prenatal visits).

The midwife said that she knew I wanted to be checked for dilation, but that she would only do it under the condition that if my dilation hadn’t progressed, that she would be placing the Foley Bulb at the same time… we finally agreed (in my mind, while I wasn’t thrilled about it, at least this type of induction didn't include a medication i couldn't undo). She didn’t really tell me what to expect regarding placing the bulb or what I would go through during and afterward. First I wanted to use the bathroom but when I came out I was very surprised to find that they’d pulled out the stirrups. Since I didn’t plan on laboring on my back I had never envisioned myself using the stirrups, so for me, this already made a very tense situation seem worse…strangely I didn’t like the idea of “bearing it all”. This midwife didn’t have very good bedside manner…she got right to the business at hand, she was rough about it. She checked me and I was still at 1 cm. She kept her hand inside me while she and the nurse talked about random things; the nurse was getting the catheter prepared but was talking about how she’d never used one of these (great way to put my mind at ease!) I didn’t like all the meaningless conversation they were having but finally she got the bulb placed which was very unpleasant. They then proceed to fill the balloon with saline at which point I felt immediate pain and intense pressure in my back (not the front like I had expected). I freaked out and told her that it wasn’t right, it was in my back…she very nonchalantly replied “ya, that happens sometimes”. Then, without any warning, she gave the tube a tug! UGH!!! (my reflex was to kick her, but I didn’t). She then taped the tube to my leg and told me to put my legs down…when I tried I found that I couldn’t lay my leg flat without intense pain due to the pulling. I again told her that it wasn’t right but she told me it was fine and to get up and walk. Ya right! If I couldn’t even lay my leg flat, how in the heck was I supposed to walk around? At that point the contractions were coming so hard and fast which seemed to make the whole ordeal even worse…I instantly regretted my decision. I was so overwhelmed that I began to cry which upset me even more because I didn’t want them to see me cry due to what they’d just done to me. Strangely the strongest emotion I felt was that I was violated. I refused to make eye contact with anyone, I hardly moved, I hardly spoke. My contractions were every 1 to 3 minutes at this point and what made it worse is that the nurses kept touching me, without asking, which completely broke my concentration. Water kept coming out and I thought it was due to the contractions squeezing the saline out of the bulb. Even though I didn’t want to move, after a while, the urge to go to the bathroom was overwhelming that I finally got out of the bed. As soon as I stood up I felt the bulb falling out and hollered for the nurse…the bulb fell to the ground right at my feet.

While sitting in the bathroom trying to recover from that whole ordeal, the midwife came in and said “So, you’ll let me start you on Pitocin now?” I told her that it was the last thing I wanted to do, that I wanted her to get out and leave me alone. I wanted to walk.

While walking I called my brother who reminded me that a mental block can stall labor just as much as anything else. He said I needed to get my head back into the game and maybe I could use some alone time. When I got back to my room it was time for my next round of antibiotics. The midwife, again, pushed for the pitocin drip...i told her I didn't want to do that since I was hoping to be switched to the tub room soon once this round of antibiotics were done. Instead I was told that I wasn’t allowed to be in the tub now because my water had been broken for longer than 24 hours. I kind of lost my cool at that point and told them how unhappy I was with them for not telling me that in the first place and then pushing it aside for so long that now it wasn’t going to happen. The nurse kind of blew it off by saying that it probably wouldn’t have helped anyways…considering how bad my back labor was, I obviously disagreed.

While getting hooked up for my antibiotics, I finally succumbed to the pressure and agreed to the pitocin. Since I knew that I would have limited movement now, at this time I also asked that they bring me a squat bar. I still felt that I had a mental block so at this point my doula, Susan, offered to try some acupressure and music in hopes of jump-starting things. Afterwards I tried many different positions but it was hard to find a good one while also not knocking off the monitors...every time I’d knock them off the nurse would come in a touch me without asking, usually during a contraction, and would try to get it in a better place. I found that being on all fours felt the best but it was hard to do considering where my hep-lock was placed.

As the night wore on, my birth team fell asleep but it was a restless night for me. As they steadily increased my pitocin the contractions became harder and were coming more quickly; they were coming so quickly that eventually I just kept my eyes closed, resting for the 30 or so seconds just waiting for the next contraction to hit.

At this point, time seemed to not matter. I didn't realize how many hours had passed, but around 7 am I opened my eyes to a voice saying “Hi Rachael, its Annie.” Tears filled my eyes as I realized that this was the first familiar face, a midwife that I’d actually met during my prenatal appointments.

This midwife was a HUGE supporter of natural childbirth. My luck seemed to be changing and she introduced me to my new nurse Tina who was also a huge supporter of natural childbirth. Annie asked me how long that knocking had been going on. Apparently they were doing construction on the floor above me...it seems I really had been tuning everything out for hours because I had no clue how long it had been happening. I think Annie realized how my stay at the hospital had gone thus far because the next thing she did kind of went against protocol. She told me that we needed a fresh start and that they'd give me a 20 minute break from the pitocin so that I could take a shower and wash my face (bless her) and then afterwards we were going to talk.

After I’d finished and was hooked back up to everything we basically recapped everything that had happened and then we discussed the different options moving forward. For me, it was hard to concentrate because every 30 seconds or so a new contraction would hit...but contrary to what had been happening so far, she'd stop talking, wouldn't touch me, and would coach me to relax and breathe through the contraction. She said it was good that my contractions were coming so quickly but she wanted to see how affective they were. She wanted to place a catheter inside my uterus that would, not monitor if I was a having a contraction, but how hard the actual contraction was. I immediately felt very tense because of how badly the Foley Bulb had gone, but she assured me that this was nothing like it.

She was so gentle through the process, she announced everything she was doing and what I would feel...this was the polar opposite of how things went when the foley bulb was placed, so again, all I could think was “bless her”. Good news, the contractions were good and strong. She said that our main focus now needed to be getting me relaxed enough to bring the baby down so that I could continue to dilate.

Annie adjusted the bed into this awesome sitting position (man I wish I knew the bed did that initially). Eventually I was maxing out the pitocin at 14 mL/min and the contractions were painful! They told me that this was the amount of pain I’d have when we started pushing, so it was good practice. I understood what they meant, but for me it felt different....with the baby being stuck up higher, the pain wasn't the same as pushing because at least if I was pushing she'd be in the right place. Annie, in a very un-pressured kind of way, told me that I should consider an epidural even though it wasn't in our plan; she said it may be the only was I could relax enough to bring the baby down.

After sticking it out for another couple of hours I finally asked for relief. I asked for etonix (aka gas & air) which is a 50/50 mix of air and nitrous. I had a hard time with the etonix because you need to get a couple of hits in before the contraction hits in order for it to help, but my contractions were coming so quickly that I couldn't get enough in my system in time before the next contraction would hit. Also, for me I actually liked having fresh air better.

By 4 pm Annie said she wanted to check me again. Again, she was so gentle, she announced everything she was doing and what I would feel (again, bless her). Unfortunately I was still at 4 cm dilated...i just wasn't relaxing enough to bring the baby down and dilate. I was running out of time to progress; I needed to relax and I needed rest (I’d only had about 4 hours of sleep in 3 days time). In the most non-pressuring way possible, she said that if I had ANY hope of saving my vaginal birth, then I needed the epidural. I looked at each person on my birthing team one by one, all of them with tears in their eyes & nodding yes because they agreed. Finally I looked at my husband, also with tears in his eyes, and he said to me “it's time”. I was so scared, but I finally agreed.

I was absolutely terrified, but my nurse Tina and the anesthesiology team was FANTASTIC; they placed my epidural perfectly. Finally, I slept. Two hours later Annie woke me up saying she needed to check me again. She told me that if I was showing signs of progressing then we'd continue on with what we were doing. Being checked this time, I didn't feel a thing. I was still only 4 cm dilated..i felt defeated. She told me that at this point, with 48 hours of my water being broken with failure to progress, that the threat to me and the baby was to high...i needed a c-section.

While knowing what my answer would be, I asked for time alone with my husband so that we could discuss it...what we really needed was time to grieve the loss of the birth that we had imagined. I asked for a copy of my birth plan so that I could mark off all of the things that we could and couldn't do. I asked not to be put to sleep; I asked to be double stitched in hopes of one day having a successful VBAC; I asked that my arms not be strapped down; lastly, I asked that my husband get to do skin-to-skin with the baby while I was being sewn up...he was never to leave her side.

The next 30 minutes were kind of a blur and I was prepped for surgery and wheeled to the OR...i was terrified. To my surprise, Annie scrubbed up so that she could sit in on the procedure. I remember the sight of my husband walking through the doors to sit with me...seeing him made me feel stronger. Annie talked us through everything that they were doing and what I would feel.

She told Chris to get the camera ready. Then we heard our daughter's loud angry cries, and then they held her up to the window in the sheet for us to see her...we all cheered, including Annie. Chris and Annie went to the other side of the room with them while the NICU team checked her out...her loud cries were like music to my ears. Originally Chris was supposed to cut the cord, but that went out the window along with the vaginal birth. I found out later that they let him trim the cord and Annie got pictures for us!

When they were done with her, Chris carried her to me. Annie helped him lay her on my chest; they unwrapped her blanket and Annie asked if it was okay to expose my chest...”yes, please” was my response. They then laid her on my chest...i was able to do immediate skin-to-skin! Immediately she was trying to latch and I was so elated. I started feeling nauseous, so Chris and the baby went to another room so that they could finish all of the newborn stuff while they finished stitching me up. As I was being wheeled out of the OR, my nurse Tina leaned over me and thanked me for having my baby before she went off shift...i was absolutely touched.

I impatiently waited for my husband and daughter to come back to my room. I'll never forget the sight of him wheeling her into our room and the pride on his face as he placed her in my arms.

Gracie Nicole Boone was born March 30^th at 6:31 pm. She was 8.7 pounds and 20.25 inches long. I wanted an un-medicated/natural birth for our daughter and I’m happy that at least 46 out of the 48.5 hours of labor were indeed just that.

I thank my birthing team for sticking with the through this long process. I thank my nurse Tina and midwife Annie for literally saving my sanity. Most of all I thank my husband Chris for his endless support and love, and most of all...for making me a mom.

They say hindsight is 20:20. Looking back its easy to see my mistakes. I wish I would’ve looked into Group B strep earlier on in my pregnancy and altered my diet in hopes of avoiding a positive test. I should've walked more and done more going up & down stairs. I should've done more pelvic rocks. I should've asked for a different location for my hep-lock so that I could more easily do pelvic rocks. I should've read up on chorioamnionitis so that they couldn't use it as a scare tactic. (come to find out that even if I’d labored for 4 days, my chance of developing this was around1%). Most importantly I should've never agreed to the Foley Bulb, the biggest reason being how badly it messed with me mentally. I mentioned that I thought the liquid coming out during this procedure was saline from the bulb, I later found out it was actually amniotic fluid. I truly feel that had my water not be forced to break the rest of the way like this, then Gracie would've had an easier time moving and coming down...i truly think that this is the reason why my labor never progressed.

While the birth I envisioned is not what I got, what I did get was a beautiful, healthy daughter. Healthy baby and mama were obviously most important...but it helps for me to remember that those were not the only important things and that my sanity and emotions were pretty high up on the list. Hindsight is indeed 20:20, you live and you learn...there's always next time though ;)

Recovery was long and hard. I popped a stitch almost immediately and it took my incision over 2 months to fully heal. Breastfeeding was and is tough, but its so rewarding. At her 2 month check up she weighed 11 pounds. She's 4 months old now and weighs 13.6 pounds. She's such a blessing to us. She has just figured out how to laugh. She's working on rolling over and can sit up unassisted (sometimes lol). She loves to smile and her coos have kind of turned into screeches. She loves the hand gestures when singing “Itsy bitsy spider”. Cloth diapering has been great so far and she doesn't seem to notice the difference which is good. For the most part she still sleeps through the night, for which we are infinitely grateful.

All in all, life is pretty good here at the Boone house.